Do You Trust… YOURSELF?
This seem to be a straight forward question right? Either you do or you don’t! My response is, “It depends.”
When I first was asked the question, I responded with a definite ‘Yes! If I don’t trust myself who will.’ But as I took a look at my life’s blue print I began to see patterns – inconsistencies in my behavior that told another story.
Closer examination of these patterns showed that I had a tendency to do the things that were easy for me to accomplish but the more challenging and loftier a goal I set for myself the less likely I was to follow through. The reasons varied but the underlying thread that connected them all was my lack of trust in my ability to be successful; hence, I indulged in self sabotaging behaviors. This was an eye opener for me.
According to Psychology Today, we engage in self-sabotaging behavior to escape intense negative feelings. In my case, my lack of self-confidence conjured up so much intense negative feelings that my self sabotaging behavior, let’s say – procrastination, which was a major culprit, put obstacles in my path that resulted in me not having to face my fear of failure. In other words, I used these obstacles as the reason for failing.
The games we play! We self-sabotage ourselves in many ways. Procrastination is a major culprit. Other examples – comfort eating when we are trying to take off weight, going shopping when we are in debt, drinking when we are in recovery, etc. The sad thing is that most of the times, we are not even aware of what we are doing because these self-distractions often do not have immediate consequences.
So… let’s talk. As Iyanla Vanzant would say, “Tell your truth!” My truth is that this post is self-serving. Yes, I am working on a major project and I began to realize that my old friend procrastination has been showing up frequently. This was my sign that I had to do some self-exploration to see what was really happening. Result, it is all about my fear of failure. Just keeping it real.
- What’s your blue print? What picture has it painted?
- How do you self-sabotage yourself?
Until next time…
April 01, 2017
January 15, 2017
August 15, 2014