Taking Personal Responsibility

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I was asked to speak at an event and during my phone conversation with the person who was coordinating it, she asked, “Are you going to speak about how overworked and undervalued we are?” I could not help but smile because I knew just then what I was going to write about this week! 

I hear women make the following statements over and over again: 
“It’s like he (husband or significant other) and/or they (children) cannot do a thing for themselves! I have to do everything!”

“Can you imagine this, he (husband, significant other) and/or they (children or family ) ate and left the dirty dishes on the table and I had to take it up and wash them! I am so tired of this! They take me for granted!”

“It is my ____________________ (insert occasion – birthday, anniversary etc.) and everyone went along their merry way and didn’t say a word! They don’t appreciate me!

Enough said, get the picture? It’s very painful to give and receive nothing in return. Of course, that is not the reason you do what you do but acknowledgment or a simple heart-felt ‘thank you’ now and again goes a long way! 

What I am about to say may sound strange but it is okay to feel this way –  you are human! I say this because so often I sense a tinge of guilt when the above or similar statements are made. 

So now that it’s out there – real or perceived – this is how you feel and it is important!  What are YOU going to do about it? 

Truth be told…  

  •  YOU are responsible for your own happiness. 
  •  YOU teach people how to treat you.
  •  YOU deserve to be treated with dignity and respect! 

Again, I ask, “What are YOU going to do about it?” 
Only you can fix the problem! The following are some tips to help you do so. 

  1. You are worthy: You have to believe that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Remember that each of us teach people how to treat us. Think about it! What message have you been sending?  
  2. What do you want? You need to know what it is that you want so that you will know it when it shows up and are able ask for what you want. Ladies, sometimes we do not remember that other people are not mind readers. Write a detailed list of the things that you want from others. For instance, don’t just write ‘I wanted to be treated with respect.” Instead write (say), “So  I would like my significant other to eat dinner with the rest of the family on Sundays instead of in front of the TV. Get it, either the person does or doesn’t. What reflects respect to you may not be the same for someone else. 
  3. Let go! We must be willing to let go and allow others to help. I must admit that this is one area that I am consciously working on. I have come a long… way but still working on this. Many of us –  me included –  have a Super Woman attitude – I alone can do things correctly.  This perfectionist attitude dissuade others from wanting to do things for us because we are always fixing things. Face it, the world won’t end if the towels aren’t hung in a certain way or if the dishes were washed but the counter top wasn’t wiped down!
Happy Women’s Herstory Month!
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In 2007, I started a company called Keepsakes by Faith whose main purpose was to inspire individuals using my art and inspiration words. The company evolved to meet our customers needs and today we are known as DISCOVER A NEW FUTURE. You may be wondering why. Our overall goal is to inspire individuals to be the best version of them self and we seek to do this by offering a wider array of services so we can meet individuals where they are. This includes personal development workshops, providing information, education and resources via our Discover A New Future show that airs weekly on Princeton TV, conferences, support groups and of course, art. So thanks for stopping by and please share your thoughts - it's the only way that we can grow!

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